When life gives you lemons...

The last few mornings have been a revisit to the great breakfast wars.

Yesterday it was Captain sitting in Mr. Buttons' chair.

Daddy moved her mid-breakfast to avoid a meltdown, which resulted in her abandoning any idea of continuing to eat. She had breakfast later, crisis averted.

This morning chairs were right.

It was Captain's lemon that annoyed Mr. Buttons.

The lemon was brought up numerous times.

Then it was time for some crawling on the floor, which was copied by Captain.

Then the lemon was mentioned again.

While nothing necessary was getting done.

After not nearly enough sleep for Mama few nights in a row.

Oh, and being up an hour before anyone else, making four (different) breakfasts and two lunches, while putting a toddler on the potty, getting her ready while trying to source some clean(ish) clothes for myself and getting two people to wake up at the same time.

Then the lemon was mentioned again.

Then it flew across the kitchen towards the bin.

Hi, I'm an over-stretched autism mama with no support network.

So, when life gives you lemons, you let your toddler eat them.

But only when big brother isn't around.

Also, you have a mental health day with super-secret bubble mixture, silly hats and a baby bath full of water after school.

Silent Sunday

Captain and mama go shopping

I went clothes shopping for the first time in a long time the other day.
It wasn't for fun, but for Mr. Buttons' communion. Seemingly their God would disapprove of my banana-stained maxi skirt and equally cheerful black, shapeless top. Go figure...

I, of course, brought Captain with me.
I was very clever and prepared by taking potential clothes options with me in two sizes, knowing I'd only have one chance to attack the fitting rooms. (I have tantrums if contained in little cubicles with clothes for very long. Toddler would have been fine.)
I asked to use the actual changing room, rather than the curtained cubicles. No escaping toddlers here, I thought. And then I forgot to turn the handle to lock the door. The Captain waited until I was standing there in my underwear, nursing bra flaps open; then proceeded to open the door with great flourish.
Closed and locked the door.
Tried on outfit one.
Heard a weird beeping noise.
Tried on outfit two.
Heard "Manager to changing rooms!" over the loudspeaker.
Realised toddler had pulled emergency chord.
Tried on last outfit, opened door, apologised.
Bought outfit that somehow miraculously fitted and was able to nurse in.

And I already had shoes to match.

Where else would you get entertainment like this for 21 euro?

Bedrooms and Brooklyn

Bedroom 2 before...

...And in progress

This is going to be our bedroom and it's shaping up quite nicely.

Today I got given a kitchen. Just like that, in the middle of the street.

A fabulous woman I have only recently gotten to know is re-doing her kitchen and asked me if I wanted her current one. She is doing this purely because she knows how challenging starting out a new life can be and wants to help our family.

Aren't some people just absolutely beautiful?

On completely unrelated topic; I finished reading a non-breastfeeding book!

I just read the last few pages of Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín after Captain fell asleep tonight.

It feels like an achievement, since it was a little bit of time to do something just for me, without it benefitting anyone else in any way, shape or form.

It's the little things...

What a difference a day makes...

 Bedroom 1, before

Bedroom 1, after the first day

Hubby has been having the time of his life.

On Saturday morning he went off on a big shopping spree in the hardware and was gone until the night. Sunday morning he was back again.

My mother-in-law picked me up and we followed him there later.

He had cleaned two of the chimneys and found an incredible amount of sticks, spoons and other shiny objects. That'll tell you who had been occupying the house just before us...

He'd put the chimney cowls on to stop our tenants from coming back.

Mr. Buttons' room was starting to look pretty good too!

I also saw my sitting room furniture for the first time, measured my kitchen and cleaned the court yard and the sheds. We had a lovely picnic of crisps and coffee outside in the sunshine.

Captain was having fun stomping, picking flowers and pretending to be a tiger in the jungle that is our back garden.

It was a fabulous day.

Nothing makes a house feel like yours like being covered in dust, sweat and about a thousand dead spiders...

I bought something silly

I finally have it, the most expensive key I've ever bought.
After a morning of stress, too many phone calls for my liking and a meltdown at the discount fruits in the supermarket...

...I got THE call!
Then I cried some more. After that I called Hubby and walked to pick up the key.
Then there was more hassle and more phone calls. But eventually they had to believe that little old, cried out, babywearing hippy me had indeed just finished buying a house. They tossed me my beautiful key with a "Good luck with it!" and I hopped out.

My darling friend took one of those pictures I will treasure forever.
I am holding up the key looking stressed, relieved, happy, sad, triumphant, delighted and all grown up all at once, wearing my sleeping toddler in her legacy wrap. It is the perfect picture to capture what I did, how I did it and who it was all done for.

Hubby came back early, the whole family celebrated with some lunch and then we drove out to the house. The kids had a great time running through the house, enjoying the echo of dancing feet in an empty house and picking flowers. We also saw some snails, spiders and a lone ladybug. Turns out Captain can figure out how to open giant gates in a matter of minutes. Also, she loves exploring in long grass and is fearless when it comes to bugs, climbing (everywhere) and is fond of turf.
Mr. Buttons took great pictures and videos, fell into nettles and climbed over the gate numerous times.

I can't wait to watch the house turn into our home.

Happiness is...

...spring cleaning the routine!

Silent Sunday

Finally

It's finally ours!

I have never been this happy about not having any money,

but today I celebrate.

I was terrified while I waited for the bank to open.

I was terrified in the bank, as the inexperienced bank employee had to go and ask for help.

("What's happening? Is the money not there?" went my poor brain)

I was very relived when he handed me the slips saying I no longer had money. Or a savings account. Or crippling fear, as I would call it.

I had to wait all day for the solicitors appointment, but luckily my friend kept me sane.

Now I will have a cup of coffee and chocolate, followed by a hot shower, if I'm lucky enough.

Because that's how mamas party...

Hugs are the best medicine

After all the stress building up over the last while, I had a panic attack yesterday.

I used to get them quite frequently when I was younger, but have only had one or two since I stopped drinking nearly six years ago. That's why yesterday scared me.

Myself, Hubby and Captain were meeting a friend for a coffee, when I started finding it hard to catch my breath. My heart started racing and no amount of yoga breathing was working to settle me. I felt myself slip further and further away from the table. My whole body felt like I wasn't fully in it and trapped inside at the same time. Tears filled my eyes and I finally managed to tell Hubby I needed to go.

He got a big pile of treats, lit a fire and settled me on the sofa as soon as Captain was asleep. It's safe to say the movie never got watched, because I was in exhausted sleep within minutes of my head hitting the sofa.

This morning I'm feeling better. Not perfect, but ok. And that's fine.

Captain is up where she belongs, having a lovely wrap nap. Have you ever tried to be completely miserable with a toddler wrapped to you? Try it, I dare you! It is as impossible as catching a toddler before your first cup of coffee...

Silent Sunday