Night out

I had my first evening (well, two hours) out without Captain. Who managed to lure me out, I hear you ask? Was it Hubby, with all his talk of needing time away from the kids? Was it old pals?

No. It was Mr. Buttons.
Yesterday, out of the blue, he asked me to go and listen to his school's choir. Me, specifically. Even saying Hubby would need to stay and mind Captain. He told me they sang a song that made him feel calm.

I felt honoured to be the chosen one, so I arranged Captain's oddfather to come over and babysit (he's the only one I would've trusted) and asked nana to give us a lift there to shorten the time a bit.

It was strange to be out in the evening without a sling, holding a -wait for it... a HANDBAG! This is the first time in two years such a thing has been seen on my arm. My backpack is now sulking in a corner, we'll have to sort things out tomorrow. I had a fabulous time, leaky eyes as the children sang and felt like I had shared something special with Mr. Buttons.

Mr. Buttons enjoyed some songs, "hated" one and used his program as a fan lots, which was great entertainment.

Captain had stuffed herself with peanut butter-pear porridge, made a video of saying "No!" in varying firmness of tone to everything Netflix has to offer (except Sponge Bob) and practised wrapping her oddfather around her little finger.

All in all, great night was had by all.

Happiness is...

...roaming around town with the kids.

Mr. Buttons has been off from school and I'm delighted to spend time with my two buddies.
Today we went to the park and spend ages just playing and climbing. He taught Captain how to go down the slide on her belly. This had us in stitches laughing, because in her attempt to slow down Captain ended up nearly crawling down like a little snail. (If snails were extremely cute and wore summer dresses)

I was also extra proud of my bigger pal for two reasons today. Both are related to social aspect.
In the park he found a new friend. He and the boy tried all the different things in the park, and Mr. Buttons really pushed his own comfort levels by climbing things that scared him a little. Instead of panicking, he explained to the boy that he was feeling a bit worried about climbing up ropes with two people on them at the same time. He got up and the fun continued. The boy got frustrated when Captain messed up a game they were playing, and sighed: "I hate her!" Mr. Buttons looked at him rather sternly and said: "You can't hate her. She's my sister." He wasn't angry, he wasn't scared to express his feelings and he solved the situation very well. Then they continued playing.

Eventually we went to get lunch. As we left the restaurant, Mr. Buttons spotted the boy and they were cheerfully waving at each other. He even knew the boys name. (Sometimes little things like introductions are completely skipped) We then went to get him some summer clothes, which he picked himself. He even went and tried them on in the fitting room. This was his first time doing any of this and I'm happy I encouraged him to do it. He was quite pleased with himself for being a big man, especially when I later told Hubby about our adventures.

I was also delighted after skyping my dad and stepmom today.
Captain woke up from her nap during the call and climbed up for milk.
My dad asked me, how long I was planning to nurse her. I replied that we were both happy, with no plans to stop. He then enquired how long kids nursed for. I started saying, that it depended on the child, when my stepmom piped up from the background "Until five anyway!"
My dad just said "Okay" and we continued our chat.
So, for breastfeeding mothers, happiness is also supportive grandparents!

And breathe...

We are all in good mood following the parent-teacher meeting yesterday.
I finally got to go to one, because Bio-Mom is on holidays.
We met up with Mr. Buttons' two teachers, who both had great things to say about his progress. I got to ask questions and actually hear everything first hand for once.
I'm so happy I could cry.

Today was a great day.
I stayed at home with Captain in the morning.
We cleaned up a little, but mostly we snuggled and made bubbles outside.
She enjoyed trying to burst them before I had finished blowing them and watched them fly up to the sky. Just watching her little eyes light up with mischief was entertainment enough for me.

All this fun made her so tired, we only made it ten houses down the street before she wanted up into the wrap. She had some milk and a nap, which she woke up from after I'd already had most of my coffee. After lunch it was time to pick up Mr. Buttons.

He was in great form, because he had no homework and he was going to be off from school the following day. We had also had the chance to do food shopping the day before, so we could just enjoy the walk. So we picked up leaves, feathers and stones. Took a "shortcut" and climbed on top of a funny tree. Rolled down a hill and picked flowers.

Mr. Buttons had Beavers this evening and we walked there.
We took a different route and enjoyed the sunshine.
He got to try something new and Captain was the only toddler at the soft play.
She took full advantage of all the space, running down mini slides and over bridges, falling down everything on purpose. She reminds me of myself as a child so much...

The last two days have really recharged my batteries.
The house is progressing really nicely too and that alone would put a smile on anyone's face.
We're going to get our kitchen next week, so it really is getting close now!

When life gives you lemons...

The last few mornings have been a revisit to the great breakfast wars.

Yesterday it was Captain sitting in Mr. Buttons' chair.

Daddy moved her mid-breakfast to avoid a meltdown, which resulted in her abandoning any idea of continuing to eat. She had breakfast later, crisis averted.

This morning chairs were right.

It was Captain's lemon that annoyed Mr. Buttons.

The lemon was brought up numerous times.

Then it was time for some crawling on the floor, which was copied by Captain.

Then the lemon was mentioned again.

While nothing necessary was getting done.

After not nearly enough sleep for Mama few nights in a row.

Oh, and being up an hour before anyone else, making four (different) breakfasts and two lunches, while putting a toddler on the potty, getting her ready while trying to source some clean(ish) clothes for myself and getting two people to wake up at the same time.

Then the lemon was mentioned again.

Then it flew across the kitchen towards the bin.

Hi, I'm an over-stretched autism mama with no support network.

So, when life gives you lemons, you let your toddler eat them.

But only when big brother isn't around.

Also, you have a mental health day with super-secret bubble mixture, silly hats and a baby bath full of water after school.

Love is...

...filling in forms for your husband and writing letters to describe how ASD has shaped our family's life in the past few years, when he can't find the words.

I don't know if he understands how hard it was for me, for many reasons.
It's not nice easy for him to acknowledge these things, when it's his son wrapped up in medical terminology . His perfect baby, who saved his life eight years ago.
When someone is saying he's different, and in turn society says there is something wrong.
When he has to face all the things  we're not able to give him or just can't afford at the moment. When he's wondering, should he have somehow know before the diagnosis.
When he's blaming himself for so much.

I don't blame him for forgetting I love Mr. Buttons too.

On some level it was therapeutic too, like someone listened to how this feels for me, which had made it easier being able to support Hubby too.

So, with a calmer, clearer head, I wait to hear news about the latest squeeze in house form.
On my side, it was love at first sight...

Something special

Reasons today sucks:

• I wanted to treat myself to fries. Captain pulled them all onto the floor. This was in a public place, where the three second rule doesn't apply. I got about five of them. I was very hungry. Enough said.
• Mr. Buttons was extremely grumpy, even on his standards. To a point of a complete meltdown before school. Hubby finally got him into the car and left for school. I started walking into town and they drove back home past me. I later found out he had had another meltdown at the school door and even the principle had agreed it was best he went back home.
• Hubby was taking his crappy day out on me, which made sticking to my smile tricky.

Reasons today was great:

• I met my darling friend and had a delicious chocolate pastry with a side of great chat
• I had lovely sling snuggles with the Captain, made extra cosy by walking in windy weather with a babywearing cover
• I met up with a mama from the old country. This was the second time we met and I really enjoyed having grown-up chats in my own language after a long break.
• Her little boy gave Captain some toys he had outgrown and his little brother hadn't gotten interested in yet. The happiness of both giving and receiving gifts was heartwarming.
• Captain was trying to feed the littler man some orange segments. I love seeing this caring and nurturing side of her emerge, without any direction from anyone. (She also pushed her friend earlier, when she took her book. So she has both sides... )
• She keeps putting her toys on the potty and making great, loud farting sounds. This amuses me no end and keeps me sane during the ongoing potty strike.
• My food was already cold by the time I got home to eat it. This strange addition is easily explained by this: I'm a mom. My food is always cold by the time I get to eat it. At least this time Hubby had heated one of my emergency pre-made frozen dinners. It's the little things...

So all in all, another good day.

I find this time of the year between my mom's birthday and her anniversary quite difficult emotionally, so remembering to stop and appreciate the little things becomes that extra bit more important.

What made your day special?