My kind of gift

A wonderful mama gifted me a family pass to Belvedere House and Gardens.

It included an extra child, so I invited friends of ours along for the fun too.

What a great way to spend a Friday afternoon!

We walked around for three hours, and the kids tried every swing, rope, and zipline they came across.

Hubby got to climb a tree, and I got my nerdy fix by studying the old ice house on the grounds.

Going to get dizzy...

Spinning

Perfect climbing tree

Feeling brave

Who needs a picnic blanket

Snack time

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

Captain and mama go shopping

I went clothes shopping for the first time in a long time the other day.
It wasn't for fun, but for Mr. Buttons' communion. Seemingly their God would disapprove of my banana-stained maxi skirt and equally cheerful black, shapeless top. Go figure...

I, of course, brought Captain with me.
I was very clever and prepared by taking potential clothes options with me in two sizes, knowing I'd only have one chance to attack the fitting rooms. (I have tantrums if contained in little cubicles with clothes for very long. Toddler would have been fine.)
I asked to use the actual changing room, rather than the curtained cubicles. No escaping toddlers here, I thought. And then I forgot to turn the handle to lock the door. The Captain waited until I was standing there in my underwear, nursing bra flaps open; then proceeded to open the door with great flourish.
Closed and locked the door.
Tried on outfit one.
Heard a weird beeping noise.
Tried on outfit two.
Heard "Manager to changing rooms!" over the loudspeaker.
Realised toddler had pulled emergency chord.
Tried on last outfit, opened door, apologised.
Bought outfit that somehow miraculously fitted and was able to nurse in.

And I already had shoes to match.

Where else would you get entertainment like this for 21 euro?

I bought something silly

I finally have it, the most expensive key I've ever bought.
After a morning of stress, too many phone calls for my liking and a meltdown at the discount fruits in the supermarket...

...I got THE call!
Then I cried some more. After that I called Hubby and walked to pick up the key.
Then there was more hassle and more phone calls. But eventually they had to believe that little old, cried out, babywearing hippy me had indeed just finished buying a house. They tossed me my beautiful key with a "Good luck with it!" and I hopped out.

My darling friend took one of those pictures I will treasure forever.
I am holding up the key looking stressed, relieved, happy, sad, triumphant, delighted and all grown up all at once, wearing my sleeping toddler in her legacy wrap. It is the perfect picture to capture what I did, how I did it and who it was all done for.

Hubby came back early, the whole family celebrated with some lunch and then we drove out to the house. The kids had a great time running through the house, enjoying the echo of dancing feet in an empty house and picking flowers. We also saw some snails, spiders and a lone ladybug. Turns out Captain can figure out how to open giant gates in a matter of minutes. Also, she loves exploring in long grass and is fearless when it comes to bugs, climbing (everywhere) and is fond of turf.
Mr. Buttons took great pictures and videos, fell into nettles and climbed over the gate numerous times.

I can't wait to watch the house turn into our home.

Hugs are the best medicine

After all the stress building up over the last while, I had a panic attack yesterday.

I used to get them quite frequently when I was younger, but have only had one or two since I stopped drinking nearly six years ago. That's why yesterday scared me.

Myself, Hubby and Captain were meeting a friend for a coffee, when I started finding it hard to catch my breath. My heart started racing and no amount of yoga breathing was working to settle me. I felt myself slip further and further away from the table. My whole body felt like I wasn't fully in it and trapped inside at the same time. Tears filled my eyes and I finally managed to tell Hubby I needed to go.

He got a big pile of treats, lit a fire and settled me on the sofa as soon as Captain was asleep. It's safe to say the movie never got watched, because I was in exhausted sleep within minutes of my head hitting the sofa.

This morning I'm feeling better. Not perfect, but ok. And that's fine.

Captain is up where she belongs, having a lovely wrap nap. Have you ever tried to be completely miserable with a toddler wrapped to you? Try it, I dare you! It is as impossible as catching a toddler before your first cup of coffee...

Nips and picnics

Yesterday I cried before breakfast.
Today I made it until noon.

I had a lovely morning with my crazy little pal. I was meant to be drinking coffee, but ended up colouring and then assisting Captain in a completely bonkers jumping dance, complete with a very dramatic swoon all the way to the floor after each set of bounces. I found this hilarious, and she knew it.

We also did the most un-subtle NIP to date. She started off laying on my lap, but slowly squirmed her way down to the floor. In the end she was doing a little jig, while still latched on. If this wasn't enough, the server came over to ask if a juice box belonged to us. "No thanks, it's not mine", said I, politely. "It's mine!", said the Captain loudly, while still miraculously boobing away. This send me into a fit of giggles. The people who say mamas should cover up while nursing obviously haven't encountered The Captain... Dancing, chatting and devising a juice-box scam while having milk, that's my girl!

Then my friend came in. Another one joined in after a while. We chatted. Unsurprisingly, friend 1 had more to say about my parenting. At this point Captain was running around, making a game of going out of the children's area. I kept getting up and getting her. We were fine. Then came the "Oooooh, she's being naughty today!" To which I replied; "No, she's full of beans, running off steam before naptime and doing no harm!"

This little cloud of negativity upset me just enough for me to open up to the friend who came in later, after F1 left. I told her about how stressed out I've been and how lost I feel with the house business hanging over me constantly. I had a little cry, right there in public. Then I picked myself up again, Captain gave me sleepy wrap snuggle therapy and we had a picnic in the park when she woke up.

Another good day, I learned a lot.

1) A "dance-dance" makes everything better.
2) Talk more to the people who want to organise play dates with you even after you cry at them.
3) Have a picnic whenever you think of it, because two minutes later there could be hailstones.

Terrible teeth in her terrible jaws

The Captain is growing her fangs and has been in quite a bit of pain with them the past few days.

She has been pretty much perma-latched at night, rolling off to snuggle Daddy, only to cry out in pain and get back to Mama and the all-curing boob again. I'm glad I can offer her some comfort.

Daytime happiness is shadowed by horrible teething poos. And when you cloth diaper, you remember exactly how many of them the poor little darling has to deal with. We deal with this by nappy free time and extra playtime in the shower. That, and breastmilk lotion. That stuff is better than magic.

Hubby came to today's sling meet with us, to keep Captain entertained in the play area. But sometimes even slides and football with Daddy don't cut it. Especially if mama is wrapping demo babies and trying slings without you. So Captain came to find me and told me she wanted milk.

Sometimes you wrap your toddler and continue doing what you're doing.

Sometimes they just need you to sit down and hold them, without any rush or care about anyone else's needs. Today Captain needed me more than anyone.

So I sat, nursed and held her until the pain eased and her little limbs relaxed in my arms.

Those are the moments full of contentment.

Holiday at home

We've been out.
Walking, running, swinging, falling off things, climbing, blowing bubbles.
We've come in to eat and sleep. Naps happen in the wrap, as we walk.
(And one daily coffee break for mama. This is non-negotiable)
We're enjoying every ray of sunshine, while the school holidays are giving me time with my two buddies.
Today I managed to have an ice cream break with Mr. Buttons while Captain snoozed.
This made me very happy.

Also, made breastmilk lotion for the first time the other day and it's the stuff of legends!
Recipe can be found here. I'm using it on both myself and Captain and it's working wonders on our skin.

So I have no major news, just small big things. The kids are asleep, Hubby is home and I can hear a cup of coffee calling my name sweetly from the kitchen...

Hope you've had sunshine too!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Dressing up, with attitude

She saw me wearing the hat and wanted it

I got this on my wedding day and wore it to the afters,

now I have my very own little Irish person to wear it.

How the time flies!

She kept it on for ages, to my surprise

Play dough shapes need lunch too

Climbing before the parade

Skateboard to follow soon...

We had fun, enjoyed the parade and met up with some friends.

When it all got a bit too tiring (read; when the Minion characters went away) the wrap and milkies were there to save the day.

I have learned that parades are better with a small friend and lack of hail.

Hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day!

Girls just wanna have fun (and perhaps some cake)

We were in no hurry to get dressed this morning, so we did some chalk art after breakfast.

I am still finding blue and pink dust everywhere. I did clean up after this, but it didn't help. Turns out chalk dust is like blocks, creeping under things to hide and plot revenge. Tomorrow more will join its' force and I won't sleep easy for the next few weeks...

After a walk into town she was ready for ups and some take away milk.

We had a dinner guest for our girls' dinner in today.

We made an epic spaghetti bolognaise (with a sponge for dessert for the big people)

The we ate, chatted and had a lovely afternoon, which stretched until the evening.

Then Captain said "Peitto!" and went to get our snuggle blanket from behind the sofa.

She likes her little routine, no matter how good the company.

Now I'll go and try to eat some more and enjoy the peace until Captain puts me to sleep again.

Good night!

When people ask you...

"What is it that you do all day?"

"Do you not get bored?"

"How does it get you that long to get into town?"

"Does your husband not mind if the house isn't clean?"

This. No. This is why. Ha ha ha.

Building project

"I see another tree! Bump!"

Stopping to check that her shoes are still there

Spring

Stones make a brilliant sound

Some more flowers (or "sniff, sniff", as they are scientifically known as...)

Shadows provided entertainment every few metres

They clap and dance when you do, you know...

We made some dinner

And ate some too!

Captain's baby joins her at the table too. Her baby acts very similarly to Captain herself, by needing to be picked up several times through the meal, hugged, calmed and nursed.

She does this with great gentleness and patience, but doesn't appear to follow BLW with her baba, which we must have a chat about...

In addition to this we

had an imaginary tea party (mama had some real cake too)

did the food shopping and carried it home (although Captain boobed and slept through this part)

sang songs

read a few books

watched Rio

did some dancing

helped Mr. Buttons with his homework

got the fire going

hung the washing outside to celebrate the sunshine (my inserts thank me!)

fed an uncle (I made the food, Captain fed it to him)

Now we are tired, but happy.

She is sensible and asleep.

I need coffee.

Mothers' Day

All the goodies

I finally made it to the conference!

I was trying to compose my thoughts earlier in a mind map, but it was hopeless. I'm still floating around after our lovely time inside the bubble.

It was everything I hoped for and so much more.

The love, slings, kids, the bigger kids running around in their jammies, the stalls, the beautiful families; THE ATMOSPHERE!

My big spend

I got myself some presents from the book stall.

Myself and Captain have already read the gorgeous Milky Moments twice. The first read especially was read with a strangely thick, cracking voice. I blame the cold, of course...

I love that we now have a book that suits our way of life to snuggle up to.

The Captain loves looking for the Teddy.

It truly has something for everyone.

After bedtime I started The Politics of Breastfeeding, and will be taking up blood pressure medication tomorrow.

The Breastfeeding answer book was the most practical purchase, but will have a pride of place in my book case nonetheless.

For months beforehand, I was extremely excited about going to listen to Dr. Nils Bergman's talks. I managed to stay through 'A Neurobehavioural Approach to Breastfeeding Including Premature Infants', The Captain had enough after a few minutes of '...Skin to Skin', so we went to the playroom and had fun and chats instead. (And saw the most fabulous dad rocking a pink crown gifted by his child. He was still wearing it hours later and was definitely one of my favourite people spotting targets.)

After coffee break I found someone I know and was told the next talk was about working and breastfeeding. I thought the information would be useful, so I went in. Turns out I went into the wrong room and there was another talk on at the same time. This one was about the LLL philosophy and was titled 'Everything old is new again'. I stayed and listened, laughed and cried, played a hugging game with the Captain and felt happy, strong and empowered. Listening to the amazing, wise Mary Bird was one of the biggest highlights of my first conference experience.

The gala dinner was lovely, like sitting around with a big, funny family.
Seeing all the babies and toddler in slings, on laps, highchairs, sleeping on chairs pulled together.
Captain boobed and slept through it, waking up to applause at the end and getting upset.
I missed Marian Tompson's address, but I can't say I'm too upset. I was snuggling my little lady in a beautiful lobby, multitasking to the max. I also got to see a mama tandem wrap a toddler and a baby for the first time in real life, so how could I have regrets?

The journey home was too tough on my little pal, who isn't a fan of the car, so I decided not to go back for Sunday's sessions. Funnily enough, one of the things that interested me the most about today would have been the Breastfeeding while pregnant workshop, but on Saturday I got the chance to talk to a mama who had fed her toddler through pregnancy and was currently tandem nursing, so that covered that nicely. And Captain could teach BLW workshops, so missing that didn't upset me either.

I came home to cards, chocolate, two men who had missed me and a Hubby who had had time to think. I now have a partner who wants to understand the importance of nursing a toddler. I have gotten the only Mother's day gift I ever wanted!

Thank you for the fabulous weekend, I'll be back next year with the whole family!
Happy Mothering!

Two special days at the end of the week...

It has been the ultimate lazy Sunday. Mr. Buttons had a friend visiting since yesterday morning and the two of them stayed in their jammies all day. Captain needed extra snuggles due to teething, so I put her on my back to get some cooking done. A friend of mine came over for a bit of lunch and numerous cups of tea and made the day even nicer by giving me an excuse to bake something chocolatey...

Teething toddler -tamed by Pomegranate

Quiche for dinner

                                                   And peanut butter brownies for dessert

It was nice to have a day at home just chilling, to balance out our big forest adventure yesterday. We went for a big walk and a picnic, and left phones and cameras home. You can just take my word for it; it was fabulous. I feel ready for the week ahead after such a refreshing weekend!

Womanly art...

There is an art gallery in town that myself and the Captain visit quite often.
Because of all the house business, a while had gone by between our art dates. So today we were walking by and decided to call in to see if our old favorites were still there. Anything with animals is a big hit with the littlest art critic, sculptures of old men are met with a growl.

The Captain still loved it, but there was one big difference.
She has learned to say "boob" since the last visit. To test her new communication skill, she pointed at every painting, sketch and sculpture with breasts and (with great delight) exclaimed: "BOOB!" This was followed by her looking at me smiling and waiting for me to confirm that this is what they indeed were. Myself and Hubby found this extremely amusing.

So, next time you visit an art gallery, play "Spot the breastfed toddler" by following delighted shouts of "Boob!" and please come and tell me how you got on!

SSS

Ah, Stash Shot Sunday. The only time my slings are neatly in order for a few minutes...

Top to bottom:
Olives and Applesauce Pow!
Opitai Mei Tai
Yaro Four Winds Stonegray (s3)
Yaro Ivy Balck&White (s4)
Danu Sky Songs Midnight (s5)
Pollora Jolly Van (s6)
Yaro Pomegranate Cassis (s6)
Natibaby Oxytocin Neptune (s7)

Missing from this is My Natibaby Kraken Carbo, who is on holidays.
I've been grateful for Pomegranate in the cold weather, I'm only upset it took me so long to find the woolly love!

Happy babywearing!

The life of an addict

You get a nice Christmas present...

It takes over your whole kitchen for two days

(and you need to have a take away ;) )

Because it takes so long to dry, you resort to taking lots of close-ups as you wait (impatiently)

The linen blend has the decency to dry relatively quickly, you iron it and have toddler up in a ruck in record time.

I love my presents!

SSS

Just the wraps, from top to bottom:

Opitai mei tai (Pollora Hedgehogs)

Yaro Ivy Black&White (4)

Danu Sky Songs Midnight (5)

Natibaby Kraken Carbo (5)

Pollora Jolly Van (6)

Natibaby Oxytocin Neptune (7)

Something special

Reasons today sucks:

• I wanted to treat myself to fries. Captain pulled them all onto the floor. This was in a public place, where the three second rule doesn't apply. I got about five of them. I was very hungry. Enough said.
• Mr. Buttons was extremely grumpy, even on his standards. To a point of a complete meltdown before school. Hubby finally got him into the car and left for school. I started walking into town and they drove back home past me. I later found out he had had another meltdown at the school door and even the principle had agreed it was best he went back home.
• Hubby was taking his crappy day out on me, which made sticking to my smile tricky.

Reasons today was great:

• I met my darling friend and had a delicious chocolate pastry with a side of great chat
• I had lovely sling snuggles with the Captain, made extra cosy by walking in windy weather with a babywearing cover
• I met up with a mama from the old country. This was the second time we met and I really enjoyed having grown-up chats in my own language after a long break.
• Her little boy gave Captain some toys he had outgrown and his little brother hadn't gotten interested in yet. The happiness of both giving and receiving gifts was heartwarming.
• Captain was trying to feed the littler man some orange segments. I love seeing this caring and nurturing side of her emerge, without any direction from anyone. (She also pushed her friend earlier, when she took her book. So she has both sides... )
• She keeps putting her toys on the potty and making great, loud farting sounds. This amuses me no end and keeps me sane during the ongoing potty strike.
• My food was already cold by the time I got home to eat it. This strange addition is easily explained by this: I'm a mom. My food is always cold by the time I get to eat it. At least this time Hubby had heated one of my emergency pre-made frozen dinners. It's the little things...

So all in all, another good day.

I find this time of the year between my mom's birthday and her anniversary quite difficult emotionally, so remembering to stop and appreciate the little things becomes that extra bit more important.

What made your day special?

Hi

I haven't written as much as a postcard in months.
Meal plans give me writer's block.
I can barely remember what language I'm meant to use most days.
There, that's the hard part out of the way. The curse of the blank page broken.

I'm a mom to my little lady, Captain Milkbeard. She is sixteen months and doesn't need coffee to have enough energy to power a small village. I need lots of coffee to power a medium-sized mama.
I am a wife to my Hubby. I have been that for two years now.
I am also a stepmom to Buddy, who is eight.
That is my little family, who keep me busy. I love them dearly and try to keep them alive by feeding them plenty. So far it has worked quite well. (We won't talk about the dark times, when I left Hubby alone with Buddy and travelled out of the country without leaving a freezer stash. Those stories are for much later stages and not for the delicate.)

Becoming a mother changed me from a strange creature with a tendency to depression into a strange, incredibly happy - though very tired- hippy. I found my way into attachment parenting accidentally, and was delighted to find it and my village.
I breastfeed, co-sleep, babywear, do baby-led weaning and cloth diaper. I also do elimination communication, but in a very relaxed (read: lazy) way.

I love photography. I used to model, but don't want to curb my cravings for anything that is a) a carb b) covered in chocolate c) ideally both. This means I finally bought a camera and now take pictures of the kids. And food. And kids covered in food. Did I mention my life revolves around kids and food?
I love books, but find it hard to focus in reading lately. It might have something to do with having kids.
I love cooking and baking. Luckily. You will see plenty of evidence of this in weeks to come, I'm sure.
I love supporting other mamas. I have been lucky to have amazing women supporting me, and I'm trying to repay this by training to become a breastfeeding counsellor.

That is a little bit about me, I hope to meet other mamas, share stories and grow my little village even more.