University of Mom

Things I have learned in the past few days:

1) Trying to read several books at a time works better when you don't have children.

Since I started reading I have had a habit of starting several books at a time; leaving them open in various rooms and reading a snippet here and chapter there. This used to work fine up until baby brain hit me and I could only focus on producing milk and remembering my name most days.
I have started to read more again and instantly slipped back into my old habits. At the moment I'm reading I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, some book about mindfulness and catching up with issues of Breastfeeding Matters. Oh, and Politics of Breastfeeding is hiding somewhere with a bookmark that is moving very slowly. (This is, as always, to save my blood pressure from rising too much)

2) Letting your children cuddle tiny puppies is nearly as dangerous as letting yourself cuddle tiny babies. Each carries the same risk of your family getting a new addition.

This one is self-explanatory.

3) Trying to expand your husband's taste in toddler clothing is pointless. Cool, printed jumpsuit just isn't a pink dress. Luckily, said toddler knows her own mind*

*This often results in crocs two sizes too big and, if I'm lucky, a top.**
**Somehow I manage to get clothes on her before venturing into the public eye. This involves flattery, negotiations and magic.

As always, I would love to hear from you. Get connected on Twitter and tell me your tips on training hubbies on toddler style matters, weaning children from wearing crocs and good reads for tired moms.

Hello from the wilderness

Update:
Still no internet.
Or doors inside.
But washing machine is nearly ready to be plumbed in, as is the shower.
Mr. Buttons has made a giant box from IKEA into a door/computer costume.

Due to increased motivation (read: no washing machine in the house combined with cloth nappy -wearing toddler) The Captain is nearly potty trained. She remembers to use the potty at home, but isn't quite ready to venture into the world of big toilets when we're out and about. That will happen when she gathers up a bit more courage, I'm sure.

I went to my first therapy session and found it good. There's a lot on my mind after it and I'm looking forward to continuing exploring my thoughts about my past, whenever I get a chance.

So all in all, things are moving along nicely.

Last but not least, Happy Breastfeeding Week!
We have been celebrating by bombarding Facebook with breastfeeding information and freaking out nursing mamas by beaming at them as we walk by.
Hope you're enjoying it too.

Milky moments

My little girl is two years and three days old.

She got a trike for her birthday and was up on it as soon as Hubby had it put together.
She fell off and got straight back up again.
She wants to cuddle all the snails and cats, and has made friends with a foal down the road.
We spend a lot of time these days not wearing our shoes and hang out in the garden.

We made it to WHO minimum recommendation of two years of breastfeeding and are now heading into the "beyond" part.

She is brave.
And independent.
Mostly fearless.
Funny.
Strong-willed.
Unique.

I'm happy to have our little moments of milk and books after cycling.
Or be the harbour of a sling nap after her first time in the bumper cars.
There are no pictures of the special day, but I will carry the memory in my heart forever.

I have never been more proud of anything I've achieved and can't wait to see what comes next on our adventure.

Happiness is...

...roaming around town with the kids.

Mr. Buttons has been off from school and I'm delighted to spend time with my two buddies.
Today we went to the park and spend ages just playing and climbing. He taught Captain how to go down the slide on her belly. This had us in stitches laughing, because in her attempt to slow down Captain ended up nearly crawling down like a little snail. (If snails were extremely cute and wore summer dresses)

I was also extra proud of my bigger pal for two reasons today. Both are related to social aspect.
In the park he found a new friend. He and the boy tried all the different things in the park, and Mr. Buttons really pushed his own comfort levels by climbing things that scared him a little. Instead of panicking, he explained to the boy that he was feeling a bit worried about climbing up ropes with two people on them at the same time. He got up and the fun continued. The boy got frustrated when Captain messed up a game they were playing, and sighed: "I hate her!" Mr. Buttons looked at him rather sternly and said: "You can't hate her. She's my sister." He wasn't angry, he wasn't scared to express his feelings and he solved the situation very well. Then they continued playing.

Eventually we went to get lunch. As we left the restaurant, Mr. Buttons spotted the boy and they were cheerfully waving at each other. He even knew the boys name. (Sometimes little things like introductions are completely skipped) We then went to get him some summer clothes, which he picked himself. He even went and tried them on in the fitting room. This was his first time doing any of this and I'm happy I encouraged him to do it. He was quite pleased with himself for being a big man, especially when I later told Hubby about our adventures.

I was also delighted after skyping my dad and stepmom today.
Captain woke up from her nap during the call and climbed up for milk.
My dad asked me, how long I was planning to nurse her. I replied that we were both happy, with no plans to stop. He then enquired how long kids nursed for. I started saying, that it depended on the child, when my stepmom piped up from the background "Until five anyway!"
My dad just said "Okay" and we continued our chat.
So, for breastfeeding mothers, happiness is also supportive grandparents!

Silent Sunday

Nips and picnics

Yesterday I cried before breakfast.
Today I made it until noon.

I had a lovely morning with my crazy little pal. I was meant to be drinking coffee, but ended up colouring and then assisting Captain in a completely bonkers jumping dance, complete with a very dramatic swoon all the way to the floor after each set of bounces. I found this hilarious, and she knew it.

We also did the most un-subtle NIP to date. She started off laying on my lap, but slowly squirmed her way down to the floor. In the end she was doing a little jig, while still latched on. If this wasn't enough, the server came over to ask if a juice box belonged to us. "No thanks, it's not mine", said I, politely. "It's mine!", said the Captain loudly, while still miraculously boobing away. This send me into a fit of giggles. The people who say mamas should cover up while nursing obviously haven't encountered The Captain... Dancing, chatting and devising a juice-box scam while having milk, that's my girl!

Then my friend came in. Another one joined in after a while. We chatted. Unsurprisingly, friend 1 had more to say about my parenting. At this point Captain was running around, making a game of going out of the children's area. I kept getting up and getting her. We were fine. Then came the "Oooooh, she's being naughty today!" To which I replied; "No, she's full of beans, running off steam before naptime and doing no harm!"

This little cloud of negativity upset me just enough for me to open up to the friend who came in later, after F1 left. I told her about how stressed out I've been and how lost I feel with the house business hanging over me constantly. I had a little cry, right there in public. Then I picked myself up again, Captain gave me sleepy wrap snuggle therapy and we had a picnic in the park when she woke up.

Another good day, I learned a lot.

1) A "dance-dance" makes everything better.
2) Talk more to the people who want to organise play dates with you even after you cry at them.
3) Have a picnic whenever you think of it, because two minutes later there could be hailstones.

Terrible teeth in her terrible jaws

The Captain is growing her fangs and has been in quite a bit of pain with them the past few days.

She has been pretty much perma-latched at night, rolling off to snuggle Daddy, only to cry out in pain and get back to Mama and the all-curing boob again. I'm glad I can offer her some comfort.

Daytime happiness is shadowed by horrible teething poos. And when you cloth diaper, you remember exactly how many of them the poor little darling has to deal with. We deal with this by nappy free time and extra playtime in the shower. That, and breastmilk lotion. That stuff is better than magic.

Hubby came to today's sling meet with us, to keep Captain entertained in the play area. But sometimes even slides and football with Daddy don't cut it. Especially if mama is wrapping demo babies and trying slings without you. So Captain came to find me and told me she wanted milk.

Sometimes you wrap your toddler and continue doing what you're doing.

Sometimes they just need you to sit down and hold them, without any rush or care about anyone else's needs. Today Captain needed me more than anyone.

So I sat, nursed and held her until the pain eased and her little limbs relaxed in my arms.

Those are the moments full of contentment.

Silent Sunday

Tricks and treats

Captain has started to sign "cookie", while saying "nacks" (aka snack).
For her this means organic toddler finger food snack packet, which is an occasional treat for her.
For a few days I was just praising her for signing and saying the word, while trying to trick her into thinking her packed lunch was just as exciting. Today I told her we were going to get a Friday treat, so off to the shop we went.
Toddlers are great at navigating shops, especially when they want something....

While we were visiting the strange, not usually seen land of The Baby Aisle, I glanced at the shelves of formula. Sure enough; bright, colourful strips with promises of vitamins, minerals and all sorts directly under stage 1 formula. Underneath them were some shelf talkers, promoting this new product. Although they mentioned only stage 2, they too were directly under stage 1, just in case the first ad didn't draw the attention enough.

After Captain picked her selection of nacks, off we went to find an employee.
She was very helpful and came over to see the offending materials, promising to talk to the manager. The she said thanks, without even thinking I was a member of some international formula spy agency.
(Can you tell my first code violation spot in a certain pharmacy didn't go down as well as this one?)

For more reading on the code
Breastfeeding.ie summary on the code here
IBFAN Ireland here

If you want to give me parenting tips...

I met my friend for a coffee today.
She gave me a lovely, homemade brownie, followed by another one.
At this point Captain sensed chocolate milk and climbed up for a feed.
My friend looked and commented; "It's good that she's still breastfeeding." This woke me from my chocolate induced dream. What, a positive comment on my parenting? Could it be?
While I looked at her, puzzled, she continued; "Just hope she'll want to stop soon. My relative had a daughter, who was nearly three and wouldn't stop feeding. She was big and it was difficult, and..."

At this point my lovely chocolate buzz was starting to wear thin, but there was enough sugar and caffeine in my system to keep me on my seat. (And a large toddler laying across my lap. That helped too...) So, instead of doing my usual trick of quick escape with no excuses, I actually answered.

"I'm happy to feed her until she self-weans. The fact, that the people I spend time with find feeding older children natural is a big help."

And then there was silence. A lovely silence, during which myself and Captain enjoyed the last crumbs and drops respectively.

What can we learn about this?
Well, if nothing else, take away this; If you want to give me parenting tips, feed me chocolate first.
Oh, and don't expect me to take it to heart.

Nourishment

When I was twelve, I developed an eating disorder. I managed to keep it a secret until I moved to live with my father at 14 and was hospitalised at 15 for depression, self-harming and eating disorders.

I stayed in hospital for about six months, during which time my parents nearly came to their first agreement in over a decade. I was to be given over to a foster family, who would also adopt me in the process. Somehow I managed to talk them out of it and on my release from the psychiatric ward I moved into my first apartment at the age of less than 16. I continued therapy for a good while, made plenty of mistakes along the way and never got out of my depression. The eating disorder also remained.

I told Hubby about this when I'd known him for approximately 24 hours. When I moved in with him, I made an effort to stop physically acting on my eating disorder, which obviously only hid the outer signs. At the time that was all I was capable of doing and it took all my strenght, but I was trying my best not to have a negative impact on then tiny Mr. Buttons.

When the time came to talk about having a family, one of the first things Hubby said was "You'll get bigger during pregnancy, what if that makes your eating disorder get worse again?" I said I would be careful to watch my thoughts and promise to get help.

When I did get pregnant and my bump started growing, I was so excited. It grew, grew and then grew some more. I loved it unconditionally. I rubbed it, sang to my baby and couldn't have cared less about my size. My cousin lovingly commenting "What the hell? Are you even pregnant, or do you just take after your father?!" just made me chuckle.

And then my little Captain was born. I loved her and I loved my flabby tummy. I loved every stretch mark, every newly highlighted vein in my breasts, everything. I loved it because it had been her home and kept her safe. Because it had done something so right, even after everything I had done to hurt it. Because it had forgiven me and grown something so perfect. Few short months of pregnancy did to me what years of professional help could not.

When I was leaving the hospital, I was given some leaflets. One of them was from LLL and it had one of the most beautiful thoughts I had ever heard. It said that a mother is a habitat for her baby. It made me cry then and it still moves me the same way now, 21 months later.

That gave me strenght in the first few weeks, when I was tender, scared and lonely. That my once useless body was still a home for my baby and that I was all the nourishment she needed. How could you do anything but love something that miraculous?

Holiday at home

We've been out.
Walking, running, swinging, falling off things, climbing, blowing bubbles.
We've come in to eat and sleep. Naps happen in the wrap, as we walk.
(And one daily coffee break for mama. This is non-negotiable)
We're enjoying every ray of sunshine, while the school holidays are giving me time with my two buddies.
Today I managed to have an ice cream break with Mr. Buttons while Captain snoozed.
This made me very happy.

Also, made breastmilk lotion for the first time the other day and it's the stuff of legends!
Recipe can be found here. I'm using it on both myself and Captain and it's working wonders on our skin.

So I have no major news, just small big things. The kids are asleep, Hubby is home and I can hear a cup of coffee calling my name sweetly from the kitchen...

Hope you've had sunshine too!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Dressing up, with attitude

She saw me wearing the hat and wanted it

I got this on my wedding day and wore it to the afters,

now I have my very own little Irish person to wear it.

How the time flies!

She kept it on for ages, to my surprise

Play dough shapes need lunch too

Climbing before the parade

Skateboard to follow soon...

We had fun, enjoyed the parade and met up with some friends.

When it all got a bit too tiring (read; when the Minion characters went away) the wrap and milkies were there to save the day.

I have learned that parades are better with a small friend and lack of hail.

Hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day!

Girls just wanna have fun (and perhaps some cake)

We were in no hurry to get dressed this morning, so we did some chalk art after breakfast.

I am still finding blue and pink dust everywhere. I did clean up after this, but it didn't help. Turns out chalk dust is like blocks, creeping under things to hide and plot revenge. Tomorrow more will join its' force and I won't sleep easy for the next few weeks...

After a walk into town she was ready for ups and some take away milk.

We had a dinner guest for our girls' dinner in today.

We made an epic spaghetti bolognaise (with a sponge for dessert for the big people)

The we ate, chatted and had a lovely afternoon, which stretched until the evening.

Then Captain said "Peitto!" and went to get our snuggle blanket from behind the sofa.

She likes her little routine, no matter how good the company.

Now I'll go and try to eat some more and enjoy the peace until Captain puts me to sleep again.

Good night!

When people ask you...

"What is it that you do all day?"

"Do you not get bored?"

"How does it get you that long to get into town?"

"Does your husband not mind if the house isn't clean?"

This. No. This is why. Ha ha ha.

Building project

"I see another tree! Bump!"

Stopping to check that her shoes are still there

Spring

Stones make a brilliant sound

Some more flowers (or "sniff, sniff", as they are scientifically known as...)

Shadows provided entertainment every few metres

They clap and dance when you do, you know...

We made some dinner

And ate some too!

Captain's baby joins her at the table too. Her baby acts very similarly to Captain herself, by needing to be picked up several times through the meal, hugged, calmed and nursed.

She does this with great gentleness and patience, but doesn't appear to follow BLW with her baba, which we must have a chat about...

In addition to this we

had an imaginary tea party (mama had some real cake too)

did the food shopping and carried it home (although Captain boobed and slept through this part)

sang songs

read a few books

watched Rio

did some dancing

helped Mr. Buttons with his homework

got the fire going

hung the washing outside to celebrate the sunshine (my inserts thank me!)

fed an uncle (I made the food, Captain fed it to him)

Now we are tired, but happy.

She is sensible and asleep.

I need coffee.

Mothers' Day

All the goodies

I finally made it to the conference!

I was trying to compose my thoughts earlier in a mind map, but it was hopeless. I'm still floating around after our lovely time inside the bubble.

It was everything I hoped for and so much more.

The love, slings, kids, the bigger kids running around in their jammies, the stalls, the beautiful families; THE ATMOSPHERE!

My big spend

I got myself some presents from the book stall.

Myself and Captain have already read the gorgeous Milky Moments twice. The first read especially was read with a strangely thick, cracking voice. I blame the cold, of course...

I love that we now have a book that suits our way of life to snuggle up to.

The Captain loves looking for the Teddy.

It truly has something for everyone.

After bedtime I started The Politics of Breastfeeding, and will be taking up blood pressure medication tomorrow.

The Breastfeeding answer book was the most practical purchase, but will have a pride of place in my book case nonetheless.

For months beforehand, I was extremely excited about going to listen to Dr. Nils Bergman's talks. I managed to stay through 'A Neurobehavioural Approach to Breastfeeding Including Premature Infants', The Captain had enough after a few minutes of '...Skin to Skin', so we went to the playroom and had fun and chats instead. (And saw the most fabulous dad rocking a pink crown gifted by his child. He was still wearing it hours later and was definitely one of my favourite people spotting targets.)

After coffee break I found someone I know and was told the next talk was about working and breastfeeding. I thought the information would be useful, so I went in. Turns out I went into the wrong room and there was another talk on at the same time. This one was about the LLL philosophy and was titled 'Everything old is new again'. I stayed and listened, laughed and cried, played a hugging game with the Captain and felt happy, strong and empowered. Listening to the amazing, wise Mary Bird was one of the biggest highlights of my first conference experience.

The gala dinner was lovely, like sitting around with a big, funny family.
Seeing all the babies and toddler in slings, on laps, highchairs, sleeping on chairs pulled together.
Captain boobed and slept through it, waking up to applause at the end and getting upset.
I missed Marian Tompson's address, but I can't say I'm too upset. I was snuggling my little lady in a beautiful lobby, multitasking to the max. I also got to see a mama tandem wrap a toddler and a baby for the first time in real life, so how could I have regrets?

The journey home was too tough on my little pal, who isn't a fan of the car, so I decided not to go back for Sunday's sessions. Funnily enough, one of the things that interested me the most about today would have been the Breastfeeding while pregnant workshop, but on Saturday I got the chance to talk to a mama who had fed her toddler through pregnancy and was currently tandem nursing, so that covered that nicely. And Captain could teach BLW workshops, so missing that didn't upset me either.

I came home to cards, chocolate, two men who had missed me and a Hubby who had had time to think. I now have a partner who wants to understand the importance of nursing a toddler. I have gotten the only Mother's day gift I ever wanted!

Thank you for the fabulous weekend, I'll be back next year with the whole family!
Happy Mothering!

My daughter the Rastamouse (and other artistic adventures)

Today myself and the Captain had a fun day.

We dropped Mr. Buttons off to school and went to our first ever toddler music group.
It was one man and his guitar type of thing, with different shakers, tambourines and various other noisy things for the kids to play with. The class was sixty minutes long, which was great as it took Captain a while to warm up. Bob Marley cover was the way to her heart, it seems. That's my daughter!

I enjoyed it possibly more than she did and left with a big smile on my face. She was too busy snuggling to have any feedback. Then she proceeded to have an epic nap, while I had a lovely cup of coffee and chatted to some nice grown-ups I happened to meet at our local café.

While waiting for Mr. Buttons to finish in school, we nipped into the gallery to have a look. Chatted to the owner about a photography exhibition they'd had a while back. He said people had viewed it as borderline soft porn and was mourning the fact photography doesn't sell well in Ireland. I said I thought both facts were very strange, to which he replied, "You're in a strange country!"

He then went on to say how ridiculous he found the fact that even breastfeeding has become something that people find a problem with. He told me about his experiences on the matter, I told him I'm training to become a BFC. He was saddened that breastfeeding has become such a lost art that one would need to specifically train to help a mom with it. I always leave that place happier than I went in, for more reasons than one.

Have you come across any surprise lactivists recently?

Womanly art...

There is an art gallery in town that myself and the Captain visit quite often.
Because of all the house business, a while had gone by between our art dates. So today we were walking by and decided to call in to see if our old favorites were still there. Anything with animals is a big hit with the littlest art critic, sculptures of old men are met with a growl.

The Captain still loved it, but there was one big difference.
She has learned to say "boob" since the last visit. To test her new communication skill, she pointed at every painting, sketch and sculpture with breasts and (with great delight) exclaimed: "BOOB!" This was followed by her looking at me smiling and waiting for me to confirm that this is what they indeed were. Myself and Hubby found this extremely amusing.

So, next time you visit an art gallery, play "Spot the breastfed toddler" by following delighted shouts of "Boob!" and please come and tell me how you got on!

How many 'L's in happiness?

Today has been a good day.

I booked tickets for the LLL conference for myself and a friend. It's the first one for both of us and I'm already beyond excited. Last year I missed it, because I hadn't been to any meetings and thought you had to be a member to go. This year I just had to book early, it being so highly recommended by everyone and a big 50th anniversary year at that!

I'm not able to decide what I'm most looking forward to, but highlights for me are hearing Marian Tompson, the founding mother of LLL speak, attending Dr. Nils Bergman's talk about kangaroo care and hopefully squeezing in the 'Breastfeeding while pregnant' workshop. One of the biggest things for me is the lovely atmosphere that I know the weekend will have. It's going to be fantastic being surrounded by likeminded families, spending time with friends and meeting new ones.

Also, the sling spotting will be epic...

Roll on March!
Who else is going, and what are you most looking forward to?

Boob gate

This picture popped up on my newsfeed earlier and I got angry very quickly.
I had not heard of Teri Niitti before, nor do I know the mama in the picture, but I had to stick my oar in.

Mr. Niitti used his chance of a first impression to get firmly into my bad books, when he decided to secretly take and post a picture of a mom feeding her baby on a flight. This was posted with negative comments about covering up, and this delightful chappie even used #decency on his post.

Now, to me decency is something you have, when you don't post pictures of other people and their babies online without permission.
When you sit down on your first class seat and enjoy the ride instead of trying to find something that doesn't fit into your narrow view of life, so you have a reason to moan.
When you don't publicly shame a mother for doing the most natural thing they could possibly be doing for their baby.

To the lovely mama I would like to give a big hug and thank her for nursing in public. I hope you keep doing what you're doing, and feel pride in having done so much for normalising breastfeeding. Let's hope our kids won't need to fight late night Twitter wars to defend the norm.

Keep on boobing!
(With covers, without, on a plane, standing on your head - It's all good, it's all normal!)