Christmas in a picture

Winter fun

Wellies have been the top accessory lately.
Yesterday we spent a few hours in the nearby field running around, poking ice at the edges of a giant puddle and using sticks as magic wands/swords.
Nothing lovelier than fresh air followed by arts around the kitchen table.
The stove helps too...

What does your winter fun look like?

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

Autumn

Silent Sunday

The door that Captain built

Our bathroom has a door!

I appreciate it on rainy nights, when I don't have to drag an old door and a sheet of insulation in front of the doorway after my shower. But on nice evenings I still leave it open and admire the courtyard.

Captain loved the process of building a door.

She asked the name of every tool, screw and nail and delighted in handing Daddy things he needed.

Mr. Buttons had different view and complained of boredom after mere seconds.

Myself and Captain used leftover wood to make a village of houses, shops and even a little pharmacy.

The shop was required to sell spaghetti, beans and apples -can you guess what are some of the littlest lady's favourite things at the moment?

Wood blocks make great houses

New door

Old door

Tears and dinner parties

Yesterday was a strange day.

I went to my therapy session and cried for fifty minutes solid.
Then I bought a dress from a charity shop and went to meet Hubby and Captain.
I did the shopping and cooked a three-course meal, cleaned the house and hosted my in-laws, while feeling I should've actually been under a blanket with a hot chocolate.
When they left, I got the chance to try our new shower for the first time.

It was better than any meditation.
I brought a candle with me and stood under the water, watching the raindrops on our courtyard and smelling the lovely, freshly cut timber on the ceiling.
Best damn shower ever.
Ever.

And I cried again.

What I have learned from this:

1) My cakes rise better with tears.

2) Sometimes not having many doors is a good thing. (Obviously not so much, when the Irish winter kicks in)

3) I am now someone who gets excited about tiles, a well-functioning shower and lampshades.

4) Spending most of your day trying to get yourself dehydrated by crying makes you feel like floating.

What have you been up to? What makes you excited these days?

University of Mom

Things I have learned in the past few days:

1) Trying to read several books at a time works better when you don't have children.

Since I started reading I have had a habit of starting several books at a time; leaving them open in various rooms and reading a snippet here and chapter there. This used to work fine up until baby brain hit me and I could only focus on producing milk and remembering my name most days.
I have started to read more again and instantly slipped back into my old habits. At the moment I'm reading I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, some book about mindfulness and catching up with issues of Breastfeeding Matters. Oh, and Politics of Breastfeeding is hiding somewhere with a bookmark that is moving very slowly. (This is, as always, to save my blood pressure from rising too much)

2) Letting your children cuddle tiny puppies is nearly as dangerous as letting yourself cuddle tiny babies. Each carries the same risk of your family getting a new addition.

This one is self-explanatory.

3) Trying to expand your husband's taste in toddler clothing is pointless. Cool, printed jumpsuit just isn't a pink dress. Luckily, said toddler knows her own mind*

*This often results in crocs two sizes too big and, if I'm lucky, a top.**
**Somehow I manage to get clothes on her before venturing into the public eye. This involves flattery, negotiations and magic.

As always, I would love to hear from you. Get connected on Twitter and tell me your tips on training hubbies on toddler style matters, weaning children from wearing crocs and good reads for tired moms.

Hello from the wilderness

Update:
Still no internet.
Or doors inside.
But washing machine is nearly ready to be plumbed in, as is the shower.
Mr. Buttons has made a giant box from IKEA into a door/computer costume.

Due to increased motivation (read: no washing machine in the house combined with cloth nappy -wearing toddler) The Captain is nearly potty trained. She remembers to use the potty at home, but isn't quite ready to venture into the world of big toilets when we're out and about. That will happen when she gathers up a bit more courage, I'm sure.

I went to my first therapy session and found it good. There's a lot on my mind after it and I'm looking forward to continuing exploring my thoughts about my past, whenever I get a chance.

So all in all, things are moving along nicely.

Last but not least, Happy Breastfeeding Week!
We have been celebrating by bombarding Facebook with breastfeeding information and freaking out nursing mamas by beaming at them as we walk by.
Hope you're enjoying it too.

Milky moments

My little girl is two years and three days old.

She got a trike for her birthday and was up on it as soon as Hubby had it put together.
She fell off and got straight back up again.
She wants to cuddle all the snails and cats, and has made friends with a foal down the road.
We spend a lot of time these days not wearing our shoes and hang out in the garden.

We made it to WHO minimum recommendation of two years of breastfeeding and are now heading into the "beyond" part.

She is brave.
And independent.
Mostly fearless.
Funny.
Strong-willed.
Unique.

I'm happy to have our little moments of milk and books after cycling.
Or be the harbour of a sling nap after her first time in the bumper cars.
There are no pictures of the special day, but I will carry the memory in my heart forever.

I have never been more proud of anything I've achieved and can't wait to see what comes next on our adventure.

Night out

I had my first evening (well, two hours) out without Captain. Who managed to lure me out, I hear you ask? Was it Hubby, with all his talk of needing time away from the kids? Was it old pals?

No. It was Mr. Buttons.
Yesterday, out of the blue, he asked me to go and listen to his school's choir. Me, specifically. Even saying Hubby would need to stay and mind Captain. He told me they sang a song that made him feel calm.

I felt honoured to be the chosen one, so I arranged Captain's oddfather to come over and babysit (he's the only one I would've trusted) and asked nana to give us a lift there to shorten the time a bit.

It was strange to be out in the evening without a sling, holding a -wait for it... a HANDBAG! This is the first time in two years such a thing has been seen on my arm. My backpack is now sulking in a corner, we'll have to sort things out tomorrow. I had a fabulous time, leaky eyes as the children sang and felt like I had shared something special with Mr. Buttons.

Mr. Buttons enjoyed some songs, "hated" one and used his program as a fan lots, which was great entertainment.

Captain had stuffed herself with peanut butter-pear porridge, made a video of saying "No!" in varying firmness of tone to everything Netflix has to offer (except Sponge Bob) and practised wrapping her oddfather around her little finger.

All in all, great night was had by all.

Happy Father's Day!

It's beginning to look a lot like...

...KITCHEN!

We bought our appliances today.
It's funny; I've been living with someone else's taste in everything for the last ten years or so. The landlord had picked everything many tenants ago, with us just living amongst it all.

I haven't minded too much.

Then I was let loose to pick my own kettle, toaster, microwave and co.
And I realised just how particular I am.
Gone was the "Ah-sure-it'll-do-isn't-it-all-temporary" -girl.
Firmly replaced by "Oh...-the-buttons-are-definitely-not-right-and-will-the colour-even-match-the-microwave?" -beast.

A lean, mean, kettle-buying machine. That's me.
For a girl who feels spending over three euro on mascara for myself, I sure can spend money quickly when it's for a toaster that I hopefully won't have to curse at every day...

I'm tired after all the excitement. The kids are asleep. Hubby is working on the house.
Anyone for a celebratory cuppa and a bowl of ice cream?

Today I had an unexpected hour to myself.
I tried on a ridiculously expensive skirt, just for fun.
Had a hot cup of coffee. Was alarmed to have such hot liquid touch my lips. Didn't burn myself.

I also went to an assessment for therapy.
It was a big deal for me, because this is the first time I chose to ask for help.
Now I wait for an appointment.

Later Hubby brought us to the house and gave me my birthday present early.
He had gone to my favourite art gallery and bought the piece I have been visiting for months.
He hung it on the wall and there it was, waiting for me when I turned around.
Such a thoughtful thing to do...

Strange kind of a day.
Hubby asked if I felt good strange or bad strange, but I haven't found the answer quite yet.

Happiness is...

...roaming around town with the kids.

Mr. Buttons has been off from school and I'm delighted to spend time with my two buddies.
Today we went to the park and spend ages just playing and climbing. He taught Captain how to go down the slide on her belly. This had us in stitches laughing, because in her attempt to slow down Captain ended up nearly crawling down like a little snail. (If snails were extremely cute and wore summer dresses)

I was also extra proud of my bigger pal for two reasons today. Both are related to social aspect.
In the park he found a new friend. He and the boy tried all the different things in the park, and Mr. Buttons really pushed his own comfort levels by climbing things that scared him a little. Instead of panicking, he explained to the boy that he was feeling a bit worried about climbing up ropes with two people on them at the same time. He got up and the fun continued. The boy got frustrated when Captain messed up a game they were playing, and sighed: "I hate her!" Mr. Buttons looked at him rather sternly and said: "You can't hate her. She's my sister." He wasn't angry, he wasn't scared to express his feelings and he solved the situation very well. Then they continued playing.

Eventually we went to get lunch. As we left the restaurant, Mr. Buttons spotted the boy and they were cheerfully waving at each other. He even knew the boys name. (Sometimes little things like introductions are completely skipped) We then went to get him some summer clothes, which he picked himself. He even went and tried them on in the fitting room. This was his first time doing any of this and I'm happy I encouraged him to do it. He was quite pleased with himself for being a big man, especially when I later told Hubby about our adventures.

I was also delighted after skyping my dad and stepmom today.
Captain woke up from her nap during the call and climbed up for milk.
My dad asked me, how long I was planning to nurse her. I replied that we were both happy, with no plans to stop. He then enquired how long kids nursed for. I started saying, that it depended on the child, when my stepmom piped up from the background "Until five anyway!"
My dad just said "Okay" and we continued our chat.
So, for breastfeeding mothers, happiness is also supportive grandparents!

And breathe...

We are all in good mood following the parent-teacher meeting yesterday.
I finally got to go to one, because Bio-Mom is on holidays.
We met up with Mr. Buttons' two teachers, who both had great things to say about his progress. I got to ask questions and actually hear everything first hand for once.
I'm so happy I could cry.

Today was a great day.
I stayed at home with Captain in the morning.
We cleaned up a little, but mostly we snuggled and made bubbles outside.
She enjoyed trying to burst them before I had finished blowing them and watched them fly up to the sky. Just watching her little eyes light up with mischief was entertainment enough for me.

All this fun made her so tired, we only made it ten houses down the street before she wanted up into the wrap. She had some milk and a nap, which she woke up from after I'd already had most of my coffee. After lunch it was time to pick up Mr. Buttons.

He was in great form, because he had no homework and he was going to be off from school the following day. We had also had the chance to do food shopping the day before, so we could just enjoy the walk. So we picked up leaves, feathers and stones. Took a "shortcut" and climbed on top of a funny tree. Rolled down a hill and picked flowers.

Mr. Buttons had Beavers this evening and we walked there.
We took a different route and enjoyed the sunshine.
He got to try something new and Captain was the only toddler at the soft play.
She took full advantage of all the space, running down mini slides and over bridges, falling down everything on purpose. She reminds me of myself as a child so much...

The last two days have really recharged my batteries.
The house is progressing really nicely too and that alone would put a smile on anyone's face.
We're going to get our kitchen next week, so it really is getting close now!

When life gives you lemons...

The last few mornings have been a revisit to the great breakfast wars.

Yesterday it was Captain sitting in Mr. Buttons' chair.

Daddy moved her mid-breakfast to avoid a meltdown, which resulted in her abandoning any idea of continuing to eat. She had breakfast later, crisis averted.

This morning chairs were right.

It was Captain's lemon that annoyed Mr. Buttons.

The lemon was brought up numerous times.

Then it was time for some crawling on the floor, which was copied by Captain.

Then the lemon was mentioned again.

While nothing necessary was getting done.

After not nearly enough sleep for Mama few nights in a row.

Oh, and being up an hour before anyone else, making four (different) breakfasts and two lunches, while putting a toddler on the potty, getting her ready while trying to source some clean(ish) clothes for myself and getting two people to wake up at the same time.

Then the lemon was mentioned again.

Then it flew across the kitchen towards the bin.

Hi, I'm an over-stretched autism mama with no support network.

So, when life gives you lemons, you let your toddler eat them.

But only when big brother isn't around.

Also, you have a mental health day with super-secret bubble mixture, silly hats and a baby bath full of water after school.

Silent Sunday

Captain and mama go shopping

I went clothes shopping for the first time in a long time the other day.
It wasn't for fun, but for Mr. Buttons' communion. Seemingly their God would disapprove of my banana-stained maxi skirt and equally cheerful black, shapeless top. Go figure...

I, of course, brought Captain with me.
I was very clever and prepared by taking potential clothes options with me in two sizes, knowing I'd only have one chance to attack the fitting rooms. (I have tantrums if contained in little cubicles with clothes for very long. Toddler would have been fine.)
I asked to use the actual changing room, rather than the curtained cubicles. No escaping toddlers here, I thought. And then I forgot to turn the handle to lock the door. The Captain waited until I was standing there in my underwear, nursing bra flaps open; then proceeded to open the door with great flourish.
Closed and locked the door.
Tried on outfit one.
Heard a weird beeping noise.
Tried on outfit two.
Heard "Manager to changing rooms!" over the loudspeaker.
Realised toddler had pulled emergency chord.
Tried on last outfit, opened door, apologised.
Bought outfit that somehow miraculously fitted and was able to nurse in.

And I already had shoes to match.

Where else would you get entertainment like this for 21 euro?

Bedrooms and Brooklyn

Bedroom 2 before...

...And in progress

This is going to be our bedroom and it's shaping up quite nicely.

Today I got given a kitchen. Just like that, in the middle of the street.

A fabulous woman I have only recently gotten to know is re-doing her kitchen and asked me if I wanted her current one. She is doing this purely because she knows how challenging starting out a new life can be and wants to help our family.

Aren't some people just absolutely beautiful?

On completely unrelated topic; I finished reading a non-breastfeeding book!

I just read the last few pages of Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín after Captain fell asleep tonight.

It feels like an achievement, since it was a little bit of time to do something just for me, without it benefitting anyone else in any way, shape or form.

It's the little things...

What a difference a day makes...

 Bedroom 1, before

Bedroom 1, after the first day

Hubby has been having the time of his life.

On Saturday morning he went off on a big shopping spree in the hardware and was gone until the night. Sunday morning he was back again.

My mother-in-law picked me up and we followed him there later.

He had cleaned two of the chimneys and found an incredible amount of sticks, spoons and other shiny objects. That'll tell you who had been occupying the house just before us...

He'd put the chimney cowls on to stop our tenants from coming back.

Mr. Buttons' room was starting to look pretty good too!

I also saw my sitting room furniture for the first time, measured my kitchen and cleaned the court yard and the sheds. We had a lovely picnic of crisps and coffee outside in the sunshine.

Captain was having fun stomping, picking flowers and pretending to be a tiger in the jungle that is our back garden.

It was a fabulous day.

Nothing makes a house feel like yours like being covered in dust, sweat and about a thousand dead spiders...

I bought something silly

I finally have it, the most expensive key I've ever bought.
After a morning of stress, too many phone calls for my liking and a meltdown at the discount fruits in the supermarket...

...I got THE call!
Then I cried some more. After that I called Hubby and walked to pick up the key.
Then there was more hassle and more phone calls. But eventually they had to believe that little old, cried out, babywearing hippy me had indeed just finished buying a house. They tossed me my beautiful key with a "Good luck with it!" and I hopped out.

My darling friend took one of those pictures I will treasure forever.
I am holding up the key looking stressed, relieved, happy, sad, triumphant, delighted and all grown up all at once, wearing my sleeping toddler in her legacy wrap. It is the perfect picture to capture what I did, how I did it and who it was all done for.

Hubby came back early, the whole family celebrated with some lunch and then we drove out to the house. The kids had a great time running through the house, enjoying the echo of dancing feet in an empty house and picking flowers. We also saw some snails, spiders and a lone ladybug. Turns out Captain can figure out how to open giant gates in a matter of minutes. Also, she loves exploring in long grass and is fearless when it comes to bugs, climbing (everywhere) and is fond of turf.
Mr. Buttons took great pictures and videos, fell into nettles and climbed over the gate numerous times.

I can't wait to watch the house turn into our home.

Happiness is...

...spring cleaning the routine!

Silent Sunday

Finally

It's finally ours!

I have never been this happy about not having any money,

but today I celebrate.

I was terrified while I waited for the bank to open.

I was terrified in the bank, as the inexperienced bank employee had to go and ask for help.

("What's happening? Is the money not there?" went my poor brain)

I was very relived when he handed me the slips saying I no longer had money. Or a savings account. Or crippling fear, as I would call it.

I had to wait all day for the solicitors appointment, but luckily my friend kept me sane.

Now I will have a cup of coffee and chocolate, followed by a hot shower, if I'm lucky enough.

Because that's how mamas party...

Hugs are the best medicine

After all the stress building up over the last while, I had a panic attack yesterday.

I used to get them quite frequently when I was younger, but have only had one or two since I stopped drinking nearly six years ago. That's why yesterday scared me.

Myself, Hubby and Captain were meeting a friend for a coffee, when I started finding it hard to catch my breath. My heart started racing and no amount of yoga breathing was working to settle me. I felt myself slip further and further away from the table. My whole body felt like I wasn't fully in it and trapped inside at the same time. Tears filled my eyes and I finally managed to tell Hubby I needed to go.

He got a big pile of treats, lit a fire and settled me on the sofa as soon as Captain was asleep. It's safe to say the movie never got watched, because I was in exhausted sleep within minutes of my head hitting the sofa.

This morning I'm feeling better. Not perfect, but ok. And that's fine.

Captain is up where she belongs, having a lovely wrap nap. Have you ever tried to be completely miserable with a toddler wrapped to you? Try it, I dare you! It is as impossible as catching a toddler before your first cup of coffee...

Silent Sunday

Friday treats

Made some flapjacks for Hubby.

Then felt bad and made nutty apple&banana muffins for Captain. Sugarfree and delicious!

Makes 12 muffins
Heat oven to 160C (fan)
Oil muffin tin

Mix in a bowl
* 210g self raising flour
* 1,5 tsp baking powder
* pinch of cinnamon
* 1 grated apple
* 1 banana chopped (or mashed, whatever floats your boat)
* handful of chopped nuts (optional)

Whisk together
* 1 egg
* 130 ml milk

Add to flour mixture, spoon into muffin tin, bake in the middle of the oven for 12-15 min.

Yummy!
What is your little one's weekend treat?

Nips and picnics

Yesterday I cried before breakfast.
Today I made it until noon.

I had a lovely morning with my crazy little pal. I was meant to be drinking coffee, but ended up colouring and then assisting Captain in a completely bonkers jumping dance, complete with a very dramatic swoon all the way to the floor after each set of bounces. I found this hilarious, and she knew it.

We also did the most un-subtle NIP to date. She started off laying on my lap, but slowly squirmed her way down to the floor. In the end she was doing a little jig, while still latched on. If this wasn't enough, the server came over to ask if a juice box belonged to us. "No thanks, it's not mine", said I, politely. "It's mine!", said the Captain loudly, while still miraculously boobing away. This send me into a fit of giggles. The people who say mamas should cover up while nursing obviously haven't encountered The Captain... Dancing, chatting and devising a juice-box scam while having milk, that's my girl!

Then my friend came in. Another one joined in after a while. We chatted. Unsurprisingly, friend 1 had more to say about my parenting. At this point Captain was running around, making a game of going out of the children's area. I kept getting up and getting her. We were fine. Then came the "Oooooh, she's being naughty today!" To which I replied; "No, she's full of beans, running off steam before naptime and doing no harm!"

This little cloud of negativity upset me just enough for me to open up to the friend who came in later, after F1 left. I told her about how stressed out I've been and how lost I feel with the house business hanging over me constantly. I had a little cry, right there in public. Then I picked myself up again, Captain gave me sleepy wrap snuggle therapy and we had a picnic in the park when she woke up.

Another good day, I learned a lot.

1) A "dance-dance" makes everything better.
2) Talk more to the people who want to organise play dates with you even after you cry at them.
3) Have a picnic whenever you think of it, because two minutes later there could be hailstones.

Silent Sunday

Terrible teeth in her terrible jaws

The Captain is growing her fangs and has been in quite a bit of pain with them the past few days.

She has been pretty much perma-latched at night, rolling off to snuggle Daddy, only to cry out in pain and get back to Mama and the all-curing boob again. I'm glad I can offer her some comfort.

Daytime happiness is shadowed by horrible teething poos. And when you cloth diaper, you remember exactly how many of them the poor little darling has to deal with. We deal with this by nappy free time and extra playtime in the shower. That, and breastmilk lotion. That stuff is better than magic.

Hubby came to today's sling meet with us, to keep Captain entertained in the play area. But sometimes even slides and football with Daddy don't cut it. Especially if mama is wrapping demo babies and trying slings without you. So Captain came to find me and told me she wanted milk.

Sometimes you wrap your toddler and continue doing what you're doing.

Sometimes they just need you to sit down and hold them, without any rush or care about anyone else's needs. Today Captain needed me more than anyone.

So I sat, nursed and held her until the pain eased and her little limbs relaxed in my arms.

Those are the moments full of contentment.

Silent Sunday

Tricks and treats

Captain has started to sign "cookie", while saying "nacks" (aka snack).
For her this means organic toddler finger food snack packet, which is an occasional treat for her.
For a few days I was just praising her for signing and saying the word, while trying to trick her into thinking her packed lunch was just as exciting. Today I told her we were going to get a Friday treat, so off to the shop we went.
Toddlers are great at navigating shops, especially when they want something....

While we were visiting the strange, not usually seen land of The Baby Aisle, I glanced at the shelves of formula. Sure enough; bright, colourful strips with promises of vitamins, minerals and all sorts directly under stage 1 formula. Underneath them were some shelf talkers, promoting this new product. Although they mentioned only stage 2, they too were directly under stage 1, just in case the first ad didn't draw the attention enough.

After Captain picked her selection of nacks, off we went to find an employee.
She was very helpful and came over to see the offending materials, promising to talk to the manager. The she said thanks, without even thinking I was a member of some international formula spy agency.
(Can you tell my first code violation spot in a certain pharmacy didn't go down as well as this one?)

For more reading on the code
Breastfeeding.ie summary on the code here
IBFAN Ireland here

If you want to give me parenting tips...

I met my friend for a coffee today.
She gave me a lovely, homemade brownie, followed by another one.
At this point Captain sensed chocolate milk and climbed up for a feed.
My friend looked and commented; "It's good that she's still breastfeeding." This woke me from my chocolate induced dream. What, a positive comment on my parenting? Could it be?
While I looked at her, puzzled, she continued; "Just hope she'll want to stop soon. My relative had a daughter, who was nearly three and wouldn't stop feeding. She was big and it was difficult, and..."

At this point my lovely chocolate buzz was starting to wear thin, but there was enough sugar and caffeine in my system to keep me on my seat. (And a large toddler laying across my lap. That helped too...) So, instead of doing my usual trick of quick escape with no excuses, I actually answered.

"I'm happy to feed her until she self-weans. The fact, that the people I spend time with find feeding older children natural is a big help."

And then there was silence. A lovely silence, during which myself and Captain enjoyed the last crumbs and drops respectively.

What can we learn about this?
Well, if nothing else, take away this; If you want to give me parenting tips, feed me chocolate first.
Oh, and don't expect me to take it to heart.

Nourishment

When I was twelve, I developed an eating disorder. I managed to keep it a secret until I moved to live with my father at 14 and was hospitalised at 15 for depression, self-harming and eating disorders.

I stayed in hospital for about six months, during which time my parents nearly came to their first agreement in over a decade. I was to be given over to a foster family, who would also adopt me in the process. Somehow I managed to talk them out of it and on my release from the psychiatric ward I moved into my first apartment at the age of less than 16. I continued therapy for a good while, made plenty of mistakes along the way and never got out of my depression. The eating disorder also remained.

I told Hubby about this when I'd known him for approximately 24 hours. When I moved in with him, I made an effort to stop physically acting on my eating disorder, which obviously only hid the outer signs. At the time that was all I was capable of doing and it took all my strenght, but I was trying my best not to have a negative impact on then tiny Mr. Buttons.

When the time came to talk about having a family, one of the first things Hubby said was "You'll get bigger during pregnancy, what if that makes your eating disorder get worse again?" I said I would be careful to watch my thoughts and promise to get help.

When I did get pregnant and my bump started growing, I was so excited. It grew, grew and then grew some more. I loved it unconditionally. I rubbed it, sang to my baby and couldn't have cared less about my size. My cousin lovingly commenting "What the hell? Are you even pregnant, or do you just take after your father?!" just made me chuckle.

And then my little Captain was born. I loved her and I loved my flabby tummy. I loved every stretch mark, every newly highlighted vein in my breasts, everything. I loved it because it had been her home and kept her safe. Because it had done something so right, even after everything I had done to hurt it. Because it had forgiven me and grown something so perfect. Few short months of pregnancy did to me what years of professional help could not.

When I was leaving the hospital, I was given some leaflets. One of them was from LLL and it had one of the most beautiful thoughts I had ever heard. It said that a mother is a habitat for her baby. It made me cry then and it still moves me the same way now, 21 months later.

That gave me strenght in the first few weeks, when I was tender, scared and lonely. That my once useless body was still a home for my baby and that I was all the nourishment she needed. How could you do anything but love something that miraculous?

Fabulous Friday

An Irish woman, an English woman and a Finnish woman walk into a café...

Sorry, I've got no jokes. That was the highlight of my day today.
I met two of my favourite mamas in the world and got to chat about cloth nappies, boobs, osteopaths, wraps and plot a breastfeeding families' picnic. Books were mentioned too, but only briefly.

The kids played together and everyone was happy.

Then myself and the kids went to an indoor play area and had lots of fun. By the time we were leaving, poor little Captain was saying "Wheee, mama, whee!", while barely able to keep her eyes open. Mr. Buttons was sweating and drinking buckets of water. The smaller of the two was asleep within minutes of leaving the place, the bigger spent most of the walk home chatting to his newly found imaginary friends.

I've never seen the two of them happier to get back home. We got straight into our jammies, the kids had dinner and then we just chilled out with books for Captain and some telly time for big bro.

It appears my plan has worked. Both big and little are asleep, while I have managed to stay awake.
Now, to last until take away and some programs without talking animals or fast snails... (Graham Norton, don't let me down!)

Enjoy the start of your weekend!

Holiday at home

We've been out.
Walking, running, swinging, falling off things, climbing, blowing bubbles.
We've come in to eat and sleep. Naps happen in the wrap, as we walk.
(And one daily coffee break for mama. This is non-negotiable)
We're enjoying every ray of sunshine, while the school holidays are giving me time with my two buddies.
Today I managed to have an ice cream break with Mr. Buttons while Captain snoozed.
This made me very happy.

Also, made breastmilk lotion for the first time the other day and it's the stuff of legends!
Recipe can be found here. I'm using it on both myself and Captain and it's working wonders on our skin.

So I have no major news, just small big things. The kids are asleep, Hubby is home and I can hear a cup of coffee calling my name sweetly from the kitchen...

Hope you've had sunshine too!

Silent Sunday

The giant chocolate egg day

The Captain will only get chocolate flavoured breastmilk tomorrow.

Who am I fooling; she's been getting that for over a week now...

I take The Season of the Bunny seriously and practise for the final Sunday with passion,

eating any egg that doesn't roll away fast enough.

The total so far this year is five, I think. No shame.

I don't want any competition in the house, so Captain hasn't had any added sugar yet.

Because we are going to Nana's Easter party tomorrow, I got my little lady some plastic eggs and tiny chicks, so that she will have something special while the cousins are eating their treats.

I couldn't wait until the big day, so she has had hours of fun with her new little pals.

The delight in her face when she finds a chick is only equalled in cuteness by that extreme focus, when she tries to put them back in and close the egg.

Best three euro I've spent in years!

Now I will go and decorate my ridiculously chocolatey cake for tomorrow.

Happy Egg Day, Easter, Celebration of Spring!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Dressing up, with attitude

She saw me wearing the hat and wanted it

I got this on my wedding day and wore it to the afters,

now I have my very own little Irish person to wear it.

How the time flies!

She kept it on for ages, to my surprise

Play dough shapes need lunch too

Climbing before the parade

Skateboard to follow soon...

We had fun, enjoyed the parade and met up with some friends.

When it all got a bit too tiring (read; when the Minion characters went away) the wrap and milkies were there to save the day.

I have learned that parades are better with a small friend and lack of hail.

Hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day!